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Doubt is not something I think of as sinful or wrong in a thoughtfully faithful person. I know that sounds contradictory but I’ve always felt that there was a necessary duality in so many aspects of life, science and belief which we need for definition. How are you to know well being if you’ve never been sick or the beauty of light without the darkness? I’ve always had the idea that we humans are incapable of appreciating the joys around us if there were no sorrows; or light if not for shadow. Understanding requires knowledge of both experiences. Otherwise it’s just academic. I know in the aftermath of a bad headache that ‘normal’ is practically euphoric and how wouId I know that if not for pain? While these are lessons we may not seek out on a physical or psychological level, they are given to us nevertheless!
But, there was a time when I felt doubt was a sign of weakness or being imperfect and was something to struggle against. Why not blind faith after all? Isn’t that the definition..belief in that which is unproven or unexperienced? After awhile though, I came think of doubt as a form of questioning , not unbelief and that in many ways faith stands upon the shoulders of its inquiry. Doubt is a lot like wonder which leads us from an inkling of something beyond ourselves to a more resolved endpoint. Who planted the question, who crafted the inkling?
Some years ago, I had long discussions about such matters with a friend who is of the Bahai faith. That religion has a very lyrical phrase in its literature which says “we are waves of one ocean, leaves of one tree.” While it may allude more to the shared experience or oneness of humankind, I saw in those waves of one ocean, the equal and opposite waveforms of crest and trough, light and dark, doubt and faith. I felt the compelling and restless rhythm of the ocean, its rise and fall, its light and shadow! So on a particular stormy day around that time, I sat and wrote down a few thoughts about faith and doubt with the idea of forming them into a rhyming poem of some sort. While the wind gusted outside and lightning strobed the movements of wildly tossed tree limbs into snapshots of abandon, I felt gripped by gathering forces of something coming unseen and from far away.
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Waves of One Ocean
Winds of doubt gust across a vast sea of darkness.
Swells accumulate, combining to keep a soul in its grip.
Secretly, stealthily out of the mists of time,
comes confrontation with the Unknowable.
Ancient inklings of awareness beyond, await recognition.
Creation seeks its Creator.
Under the restless face of the sea, forces move,
gathering to disturb the dark.
Inexorably waves mount, crashing and crushing
the very soul of doubt upon its own dark shore.
Erasing even its traces with each urgent, liquid swirl.
Creating in those traceless sands a pristine canvas for faith.
Winds of faith gust across a vast sea of light.
Swells accumulate, combining to keep a soul in its grip.
JAL 8/9/03
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And so that is the back story behind the poem which never got beyond the thought stage into the rhyming stage but simply remained as it was on that stormy afternoon. The images below (and the one above) are of exactly the same beach, waves of the same ocean, with the dual gloom of a gathering powerful storm and a brilliantly hued rainbow!!


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Hope you might enjoy life in all its various moods and states of being!!
Judy
Posted in By Sea, Janthina Photo Log
Tags: doubt, duality, faith, philosophy, Photography, rainbow, religion, Seascape, Storm at sea